Day 11 – Billings – A Day of Dude Ranchin’ and Rainbows

I don’t know where we are right now.  I’m not trying to sound all geographically challenged, but I don’t see any signs in this little rest stop.  We’re somewhere between Idaho and Montana, I’m pretty sure of that.  To my right is a small car with a couple of extra radiators in the back seat.  I guess anti-freeze is a hot issue in this town.  Inside the gas station, I wait in line for some Emergen-C and Powerade.  I caught a cold and am pseudo regretting the one on one showdown I had with my liver in Boise.  But no time for that.  I’ve got bigger problems.  Next to me is an old lady that keeps edging closer and closer to me in line.  Every time I move up one step in line she takes two.  By the time I hit the register, she’s so close I think we’re sharing a pant leg.  I fake her out with the ol’ look left step right and pay quick.

Now our plan was to get a good rest, leave at 11am and drive 4 hours into Billings, putting us there around 4pm.  About 3pm, we recheck the map and appear to still be 2.5 hours out.  Hmm. Let’s recheck that.  11am to 3pm.  Yep 4 hours in + 2.5 hours to go = 2.5 hours longer than we were counting on.  No problem.  We’ll call the venue and check load in time.  Load in at 4 and doors at 5?  Back to the math-mobile.  Shit.  We might not make doors, which means no sound check and back line.  Time to put our tray tables up, our seats in the upright position and let the Ed-Sled loose.  Ed pins back his ears and lets it go.  I’m not at liberty to say what our speed was exactly (pulling a trailer mind you), but lets just say we were one flux capacitor away from making time travel possible.  Between the Powerades and the excitement of traveling at warp speed I have to pee and we’re still about 100 miles out.  I try to use one of the bottles in the car but 6 guys pull out 7 cameras every time I do so I am forced to hold it.  Ed gets us to the venue by doors.   I change my pants and help load in. 

Billings is an interesting place.  I noticed on the lighting-rod ride in, a VCR repair shop and Crazy Doug’s Pawn Shop.  Drew is skeptical about how crazy he really is, and I wonder if every town has a famous Doug that sells shit I don’t want.  Also, there must be a fear of heights in Billings because I don’t see one building above three stories.  Not anywhere.  Once we load in, Mike and I head across to a Chinese restaurant to get some hot tea and soup.  We’re both trying to save our voices for the show and this place is close by.  Inside the restaurant Mike notices the hosts and waitresses are all of Asian descent, but the cooks in the back appear to be of Billings descent.  We sit down to a candle lit table and it seems a little weird.  I’m not sure if we should get this to go or stay and recreate the tea scene from Karate Kid II. 

We finish up and head back to the show where the kids are starting to pile in.  Good crowd in Billings and the Railyard is a cool venue.  Backstage we see a set time list from a show Against Me! played recently.  I have a feeling that the crowd in Billings is going to be pretty crazy and they don’t disappoint.  We load up on stage and get ready.  Some people have already checked us out on line and are excited to see us.  Others look kinda pissed for some reason and are starting to get restless.  That’s sort of how it goes at a Guttermouth show though.  We start the set and a pit starts with it.  Off to a good start.  Tonight Mike takes it a notch further.  Halfway through a song, I notice the pit gets crazier and some nut is hopping right through the middle of it in a trash can like he’s in a one man sack race.  I look over to point it out to Mike and realize he’s guy in the can!   You can’t put a price on that kind of entertainment.  What you can put a price on is a t-shirt.  Amidst the chaos of boldtype live set, Mike also ripped the shirt right off my back, like I was Janet Jackson at a half time show, and I wish I had done those push ups back in Seattle.  Talk about a wardrobe malfunction.  I finish out the show in a fashionable Red Stinger toga and another great show is in the books.  We got a really great response in Billings.  If it wasn’t the best, it was really close.  Thanks to I’ve Had Better for donating a shirt to me. 

Post show, we find a hotel called “Dude Rancher’s Lodge” and I realize I am no more mature than I was when we left Denver.  Mike hits a Denny’s by himself and I crash out. The rest of the gang is off to the Rainbow.  It’s where the after party is at and I hear they serve Jager shots the size of softballs.  Speaking of balls, The Rainbow is another gay bar.  This is where I check out for the night.  Goodnight Billings.

Post Script – Instead of our usual post show debauchery, we want to share a pretty incredible email we got the next morning from a fan we made in Billings.  Its one of the most humbling and incredible responses we’ve ever received from a show and will not be forgotten. 

Hey guys.

I just wanted to drop you a quick line and tell you thanks for the great show you guys put on. i was the one that was there with my family. i think all of you guys took a liking to my 10 year old son Kody. Your music was great and you had the most energy i have seen in a long time, but what i really wanted to tell you was that you guys made a huge impression on my 3 boys and my wife. Thank you so much for taking the time to show interest in my youngest son. He hasn’t been able to stop talking about how "cool" Boldtype is. Mike, thanks for taking him up on stage while Guttermouth played their set. Drew, thanks for making sure he got everybody’s signature on his CD. These are things he will never forget, nor will I. I know that it can be hard to be away from your families for extended periods of time and i guess i just want you to know that it is appreciated.You have 5 fans for life. Look forward to seeing you guys again real soon. Take care, be safe and stay true to the music...people appreciate it. If there’s ever anything I could do to help you along the way please don’t hesitate to ask.

The Eyre family